Here’s your gift! I really hope you enjoy it! And happy holidays!! (also im not sure if the readmore works in the submit so im sorry if it makes a really long post)

“You’re not any better than she is. And you’re not even a human. How shameful.” GLaDOS’ voice echoed through the test chamber, always a mocking, mechanical tone.

Wheatley had been given a sort of body, similar in form and function to Atlas and P-Body so that he could participate in GLaDOS’ insane tests. At first he had been excited to try them out, previously only having seen Chell do them while watching on the sidelines. He had seen her perform outrageous tasks, using faith plates to fly through the air, carefully positioned hard light bridges, and perfect precision and timing of portals to avoid an otherwise certain death. He had watched her in awe, truly amazed by her ability to complete the tests one after another in a relatively short amount of time and with few mistakes. She made it look so easy, and he wanted to try it himself.

It was nowhere near easy. No matter how hard he tried and how many portals he placed he just couldn’t get it right. And when he did, it took forever.

“Why can’t I get it right? Rrgh.” Wheatley was currently stuck up on a light bridge, and no matter how many times he tried and repeated the necessary steps he just couldn’t get any farther. It was especially frustrating because he was presumably near the end of the test. It was a long one, filled with turns and pockets, so the fact that he could see the exit was promising. But actually getting to it was a whole different story. Shoot a portal here, drop down there, put the other portal over there… He’d already completed the area that unlocks the door, but for the life of him he couldn’t get to it. He was so close. So. Close. You can do it, Wheatley. You’re probably just missing something small. The exit is right there. He looked around some more, finally noticing the critical detail he was missing. There was a small indent in the wall, way above his head, and one of the walls had the distinct white color that he was looking for.

After taking a moment to make sure his portal gun was lined up with the wall, he made his way up. There was a faith plate in the center of the floor, pointed directly at the exit. Was it really that easy this whole time? Apparently so. No sooner had he stepped through the door when GLaDOS’ voice echoed through the chamber.

“Congratulations, Wheatley. You made it. It only took you an hour. Did you know that’s a new record?” New record? Maybe this test actually was hard.

“What was the old one, then?”

“Fourteen minutes.” What- “You’re record was for the longest time spent. Not the shortest. And to think I assumed that, despite your incompetence, you’d be able to complete it faster given that you don’t have human errors. I was wrong. I’ll admit it. But, that was only one test. Time for another. And this one is fun. Our little human friend did one similar a while back. Now it’s your turn.” The exit pod appeared in front of him, and in the short ride to the next test chamber he pondered what awful things GLaDOS was going to do next.

As the pod doors opened, he was faced with a rather large room with a hallway on the far side, and one solitary cube in the center. As he got closer, he realized it was different than the other cubes he had seen. Instead of Aperture Science logos on each face, it had hearts.

“This is the Aperture Science Weighted Companion Cube. It will never threaten to stab you and, in fact, cannot speak. In the event that the Weighted Companion Cube does speak, the Enrichment Center urges you to disregard its advice.” Wheatley cautiously approached the cube and, upon it doing nothing despite careful scrutinization for a minute, picked it up. He waved it around a little, still cautious, and began walking down the hallway. At the end, he was met with several platforms, some moving and some not, some faith plates, and a 1500 Megawatt Aperture Science Heavy Duty Super-Colliding Super Button. There was also a small button on the very top level.

It took Wheatley about 30 minutes to get to the uppermost area where the button was. Upon getting there, he discovered a door at the far end of a hallway. Presumably, the button would open the door. He pressed it, and yes, it did open the door, but it also brought the Companion Cube up to his level.

“Aw, look! It’s come to me!” He picked it up, and continued through the door. In this room, there was a hard light bridge, more platforms, another Super Button, and a faith plate or two.

He completed this room in just under 20 minutes. And again the Companion Cube came to join him at the end.

“Haha, this little guy just doesn’t quit! He really is a little cube companion!” He happily carried the Companion Cube to the next room. This time, it was filled with more faith plates and platforms, a couple buttons, and an Aperture Science Excursion Tunnel. Despite not having many components, this room was especially difficult for Wheatley to complete as it required much more precision and careful timing.

“I just can’t get it right! Companion cube, help me out here. How can I finish the test?” There was no answer, of course. He waited for a moment nonetheless. Sighing, he took the cube and tried again, shooting a portal over on that wall, going up, shooting one over there and one at the Excursion Tunnel, going into the tunnel, falling to the platform below, alright. He was now back to the spot where he couldn’t progress. He would have to, at least presumably, bring the Excursion Tunnel over where he could get in it, move it at just the right time to land on a faith plate, then place the Excursion Tunnel in a newly accessible area. Then the tunnel would bring him up to what was hopefully the exit.

“You know, Wheatley,” GLaDOS’ voice rang through the air, “I expected better of you. These tests aren’t even that difficult. Especially for someone like you. You dont have to work around the difficulties and inconsistencies of being a human. And even our human subject fared far better than you. The tests may be different, but the concepts are the same. I even made them easier for you, since I know how little intelligence you have.” GLaDOS was just trying to rile him up. He knew it. He was doing the best he could, but her words still clawed at him. Nobody in Aperture Science was nice. At least he had his Companion Cube. It would never threaten to stab him. It doesn’t even speak. Or do anything without help, really. But it was the one thing in this laboratory that didn’t do anything mean to him, ever. So he was glad to have it. Maybe he would even be allowed to keep it after the test! He had to finish it first, though.

After a painstaking total of 45 minutes, he completed the room. As expected, the exit was right at the top of the Excursion Tunnel. Companion Cube in hand, he marched to the next room.

It was nearly empty, except for a door, a small receptacle, and a button. He walked over to the button, placed next to the receptacle, and pressed it. The spiral closure on the receptacle opened, and boiling hot air came out. He peered inside, and viewed what seemed like an entrance to the incinerator. After a few seconds, it closed, and the button went back up.

“You know what to do, Wheatley.” He heard her voice, always mocking him. The cube. His beloved Companion Cube. He looked over at it. “That’s right. Now go on.” No. No, he couldn’t do that. After completing all those tests and coming so far, this is what he was supposed to do? Destroy his only friend? “This is the end, Wheatley. This is the end of the test. The door won’t open until you do it.” No! He can’t! Never! He sat down, refusing to complete the task. “You don’t have a choice, you know. Well, I supposed you could refuse, but you’ll just be stuck here. It’s not like you need to eat or anything. You’re not alive. I could just leave you there. For-e-ver. Your choice.” He waited; nothing happened. The door didn’t open. GLaDOS didn’t even speak to him again. He really didn’t have a choice. He had to do it. There was no other option. He slowly walked over to the cube, and picked it up. He examined it for a minute, admiring its perfect cube body, the little hearts on each side. Oh, he’d come to love his companion. It may have only been one short test but It was the only thing that had ever stayed by his side and helped him. And now he had to destroy it. And he had to do it himself.

He walked over to the incinerator, each step painstakingly agonizing. He stood in front of it, and pressed the button. The spiral closure opened, revealing the swirling vortex of heat and destruction it held in its depths. Wheatley could only stare at it, hoping desperately for anything that would let him keep his Companion Cube. A few seconds passed and it closed. He stared blankly at it. Then pressed the button again. The doors opened once more, and he gazed into the fire. Soon enough, it closed again. If robots could cry, now would be the time. He could only wish for that, for something more to express his despair. Not that it would do anything, but it would be nice to properly experience true sadness. One last time he pressed the button, and dropped his Companion Cube into the incinerator, just barely in time for it to close. The door opened as soon as the incinerator closed, and he slowly, mindlessly made his way to it.

“Congratulations, Wheatley. You finished the test. It only took you two hours. Ha ha.” Her mechanical laughter filled the empty room for that moment. Though to Wheatley, it seemed to echo on forever. “Well, now that you’ve finished, let’s take a break. I’m tired of waiting while you struggle with simple puzzles. It’s painful to watch.” He walked into the pod, and was taken out of the testing area.

These tests aren’t fun. At all. And he had no intention of doing one ever again.